I am very excited to host my guest today, the amazing erotica writer and sex columnist, Xavier Axelson. Not only was he kind enough to write a marvelous guest post, stay tuned at the end for a sizzling excerpt from his latest release, The Birches. So, without further ado . . .
“It took Thomas Edison thousands of tries to before he invented the light bulb.” This was the last thing I heard before I switched off the television to write this blog. I’m actually paraphrasing, it was close to that quote. It was a cartoon, and to be honest, I thought I heard Thomas Jefferson and had to make sure I wasn’t losing my mind.
Thousands of tries before it worked out.
Isn’t that always the way. It’s funny as November rolls past and December begins with the holiday season already in premature swing, it makes me stop and think how lucky and thankful I am when things work out on the first try. I’m speaking mostly from a medical standpoint. Last month I found myself facing two major surgeries, scheduled exactly three weeks apart. The second surgery was scheduled the day before the release of The Birches. Is it sad, I was more concerned about that then the surgery? Don’t think I didn’t bring my laptop into the hospital with me, because I did.
Both surgeries were a success. I lucked out with amazing nurses, nurses aids, physical therapists, occupational therapists, hospital volunteers and even the women who came around with a tiny dog on my second visit were amazing. I’m one of those patients who hates to bother the nurses. I hate asking for anything. I resisted using the call button so many times finally a nurse came in and asked what my pain level was, I said 9. She said, “You have to call us, this isn’t the time to be a hero.” She was right. I learned once you have “breakthrough” pain it is much harder to get back down to a bearable pain level then if you maintain it. I learned a lot about myself during the month of October. Coincidentally, also my birthday month. When you face any sort of traumatic physical event, something changes within you. In my case, I am literally not physically who I was before the surgeries. I am someone new. I learned there are people who care and take their jobs seriously. I did my best to make the nurses laugh and have to admit I was told more than once I was their “favorite” and I soon realized how hard and maddening their jobs must be, and how grateful I was there are people to do such demanding and hard jobs. I also will probably never be able to watch Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, True Grit or Tron again. The last being so mindlessly complicated the dialogue sounded like a textbook. Then again, it was 3am when I tried to watch it. You’d be amazed what goes through ones mind at 3am in a hospital.
So, I lucked out that both surgeries went right the first time. I should mention finding the surgeon was not as easy. It took me several attempts to find a surgeon I felt comfortable with. Boy, am I glad I got more than one opinion. By the way, three is the magic number when it comes to opinions. Just in case you were wondering. My surgeon and his staff were also stellar. Imagine if the surgeries didn’t go right? Man, this is definitely a time I was glad for a virgin success.
When I came home, I discovered the world felt different. Everything was going to be a new experience. I would have to learn how to get around again, get out of bed a certain way (at least for a while), get dressed using all sorts of equipment and stay on top of my pain meds and supplements. I would also have a visiting nurse and physical therapist coming to see me three times a week. I have to say again, I lucked out with amazing people.
Today was my last day of physical therapy. I still have a long road ahead but hey, I’m not peeing in a bucket by the side of my bed, I can actually get to the bathroom without using a walker. I’ll take it.
Thomas Edison tried, tried and tried again to get it right and I’ve learned that’s exactly how it is sometimes. Sometimes there is little room for experimentation. Sometimes your life is not your own and you are dependant on the care of others. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to have the anesthesiologists who administered my spinals having to go at me 1,500 times. Sometimes there is room for the 1,500 tries and the pay off is the electric light bulb. Life, it seems, is the ability to distinguish between the two.
In the end, I am shocked at my own ability to be brave and get up when the pain was beyond description and to be gracious enough to accept help. There isn’t much room for pride when someone is pulling a catheter out of you. You learn humility very quickly and hey, it’s not a bad lesson to learn.
Check out my webpage for all news about new releases, news and all kinds of Xavier goodness. It definitely won’t take you 1,500 tries to find me.
Blurb:
Perfection isn’t everything, although it’s everything Leo wants. His desire to become the perfect chef may keep him at the top of his class, but it drives his friends and family crazy while keeping love and passion on the back burner. That is until he meets Dock, owner and chef of the new and popular restaurant, The Birches. Although Dock isn’t a trained chef, Leo finds the food he cooks delectable and the man behind the food irresistible. The lessons taught at the hands of an untrained cook may be just what this uptight chef needs to let go.
the birches
He pulled into the parking lot of The Birches and sat on his bike a minute. He felt nervous, like he was about to meet a celebrity and the self-doubt that plagued him made him queasy.
“You gonna sit outside or come in?”
Leo jumped at the sound of the man’s voice. He pulled his helmet off and looked around, but didn’t see anyone.
“Over here.”
Leo looked just past his left shoulder and saw a man emerging from the nearby woods that surrounded the little restaurant.
“Oh, hey,” Leo called out, his voice cracking.
“You looking for something to eat?” the man asked, coming closer.
Leo was shocked to find himself riveted to the spot, staring at the man who came towards him.
The man offered Leo a rough, calloused hand. “I’m Dock,”
“Hey,” Leo managed weakly.
“I was out back, picking blackberries, they grow wild around here. I thought they’d make a great dessert. Don’t know what kind of dessert, but how can you go wrong when you have stuff like this?” He said as he offered up a large, wooden bucket half-full of dark, purple black berries.
There were purple smears across Dock’s white tank top that seemed barely able to contain Dock’s impressive chest. There were several brown freckles on Dock’s shoulders, next to where the strap of tank top clung to his body.
“Lucky berries,” Leo said under his breath.
“What?”
Sweat ran down Leo’s back, he felt so nervous. For a brief moment, he thought of hopping on his bike and taking off. Instead he said, “Um, nothing, sorry, I just wanted to come by and–”
“You want to come inside and have an iced tea or something?” Dock asked, “It’s hot as hell out here and I know I need to cool off.” He swiped a hand across his face and left a smudge of blackberry juice across his cheek.
Leo’s heart was pounding, what was it about this place, this man?
“You coming?” Dock asked.
“Huh?”
Dock laughed, “You coming inside or you just gonna stare at the ground the rest of the day?”
Leo was still staring at the spot where Dock had been standing. Something was happening inside his head. He felt spellbound and excited. He didn’t know where this sensation came from, all he knew was he wanted more of what he was feeling. He followed Dock, who was still talking about black berries, the sun and something else that sounded perfect, into the restaurant. When Dock stopped suddenly by a booth at the back of the restaurant, Leo almost crashed into him.
“Take a seat. I’ll be right back with some tea.” Dock said, a smile lingered on his lips.
He knows he makes me uncomfortable, Leo thought once Dock left and was sitting down. It was this realization that held him glued to the seat. He wouldn’t give this man the satisfaction of getting the better of him.
“So, what’s your name?” Dock asked when he reappeared and set a jam jar full of iced tea in front of Leo, there were several blackberries floating in it along with some ice and a sprig of mint.
“Leo,” he replied, taking a sip of the tea.
“You know we’re closed, right?” A woman’s voice called from behind Dock’s perfect shoulders. Leo decided right then and there he would trade his ability to beat an egg for a chance to touch those shoulders and kiss the freckles that lived there.
What was he thinking?
He wasn’t thinking, that was just it, there was something about the place and, more noticeably, about this man that seemed to block Leo’s ability to think rationally. Where there was once thought, there was now an incredible amount of feeling. He was stunned into a stupor by this realization.